is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
