it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Randomize
