In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
