were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
