her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Randomize
