I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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