Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
