I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
