I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize
