We should be called the Road Head Warriors
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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