i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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