I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize