yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
