It's like God shit irony all over that family
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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