she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
