For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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