Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
