I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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