have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
