I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
