we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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