How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
