my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Randomize
