hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize