Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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