he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
