this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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