A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
