Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
