dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
