I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
You can't special order awesome
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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