I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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