Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize