Dual....:-)
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
