dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Green mimosas i think yes
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
