So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
