yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
