They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
