I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
