wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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