We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
