Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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