a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
