moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
