i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I wish I only lived at night.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
