If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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