is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
