I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize