so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
