wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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