i think my tv is drunk
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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