Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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