im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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