I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
