Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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