Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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