I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
