You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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