I am puke
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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