come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
