i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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