yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize