THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
